A MOST INTERESTING DAY PART II

Above is a picture of the Director and obviously me on our outing... as it turns out the Director's executive officer did have a camera and took a picture of us at Qarga.

So, there I was leaving Qarga along with the Director, his driver and executive assistant returning to what I believed was the Ministry. Wrong YET AGAIN! In route, the Director told me in his broken English "We will go to my home for lunch"... he didn't ask. Off to yet another new adventure into a world I had no knowledge. Once again, the Director was on his phone, the two up front were chatting away, and I returned to my sense of awe at what I was seeing. At some point he looked up and started to speak with me again. During our conversation I discovered he had 9, yes 9, children with his only wife (remember they are allowed up to 4 in Afghanistan). He also related that his wife was out of town so she would not be there to meet us. Yes, I'll admit to being nervous once again but put my trust in God and my gut that told me he was a good man.

We ultimately arrived to the Director's home, which as it turns out is quite close to the US Embasssy. Not what I had in mind. On the exterior, it was a very modest apartment complex even under Afghan standards, Soviet style grey cinder block and about five stories. The two aides stayed outside in a security shack while we proceeded into the complex and climbed up five stories... the Director was obviously proud as he told me at least three times "this is my home". We ultimately got to his front door and then a most unexpected thing happened when we walked into his home (building suspense with long pause here; wait, wait).

Very soon after entering the home, a two year old comes running up yelling what I assume is "Daddy, Daddy" in Dari to the Director and throws her body into his open arms with him scooping her up so they can exchange kisses... my heart melted and immediately felt at ease. The second daughter, I'm guessing about 17, welcomed me to her home with grace and in English, and showed me into what I believe is the family den/living room. Soon what I guess is a 9 year old beautiful girl and a 7 year old boy enter into the scene.... they were openly curious and the 9 year old girl held my hand to show me to my seat. Seat being an operative word.

The den I was led into had no furniture outside of an old box style TV with rabbit ears on a basic TV stand. The room was about 10' x 20' with simple red oriental style carpets (nothing expensive) completely covering the floor... the room was was freshly painted in a pastel pink shade with very "festive" lace curtains covering the windows at the front of the room. Along the sides of the room were overstuffed pillows matching the decor. The Director took his seat on the floor with TV remote in hand and two year old in lap, with me and the 9 year old girl, Tamerone (or something close) across from them. Soon the 17 year old brought in some chai (tea) and a plate of nuts and dried fruit... very traditional. I'm thinking now, this is a most pleasant lunch. So, there we were sitting and enjoying the TV shows (all in Dari of course) and what I thought was lunch for about 30 minutes.

Knock on the door and it's the in-laws, brother and father. The brother was dressed in western style clothing and haircut, close shave to match. The father was traditionally attired in what we tacky Americans call Man Jama's (tunic style loose top and baggy pants... cotton, not flannel) very clean and well pressed with hat to match. He had a traditional Aghan distinguished haircut and a very well trimmed beard, impeccably groomed. I am introduced to both who were most friendly and I believe surprised to find me in the house. They disappear along with the Director and I return to my seat to continue watching TV and drinking chai.

Another knock at the front door and the Director closes the door to the den and I hear him answer the front door. No clue what's going on. The 17 year old then enters back into the den for a table cloth stored in the built in china cabinet. Soon the Director enters to collect plates and silverware assuring me all is well. Now, I haven't been to the bathroom in a very long time and have had lots of tea so I wander out of the den... the Director was astute enough to point me to the bathroom. He can be gracious. A most interesting bathroom... it's about 5' x 10' and includes a sink (with too many toothbrushes to count in a single cup), western style toilet, some bizarre looking washing machine and a shower head mounted on the wall in the corner... no shower curtain or any other separation. Now remember, this is a family with 9 children. So, I complete my deed and head back to the den... Tamerone is waiting for me.

I return to watching TV and drinking chai. I am then invited into the "dining room". This is a matching room to the den only no TV and the walls are a pastel peach color. There in the center of the room is the table cloth on the floor, plates/silverware distributed along the edges and an amazing array of food in the center... they had obviously ordered takeout. I am invited to sit at the head of the room, everyone else is already seated. The food: First layer on the floor is a flat bread that has to be, no lie, about 4' x 2'. On top of the bread is an array of kabobs (that's what they call barbequed meat) "sheep" with bone, grilled chicken, and fish; Afghan style salad and a beautiful bowl of fresh fruit. Then in front of each place setting is a bowl of steaming hot soup. I start with the soup, no clue what it was just know it was delicious. I then dig into the fish, chicken and sheep... all seasoned differently and to die for. I avoid the raw salad (typhoid and all). They keep putting more on my plate and all seven of us are speaking openly with each other... me not so much as I don't speak Dari. However, they went out of their way to include me. It was just a wonderful event and I was now quite full.

The Director suddenly announces it is time to go, we've now been in his home over two hours. I'm rushing to the front door to put my shoes back on and render my thanks and goodbyes to all. Then, as if they were not generous enough the 17 year old comes up and presents me with what I think is a most beautiful traditional Afghan necklace, placing it around my neck. She then thanks me... yes, she's thanking me... for sharing her home with the family. I'm speechless, overcome with emotion. The Director then leads me out and we most casually jump back into the SUV and return to the Ministry where we part ways. END of STORY

Sorry, this was a long one and it's been a challenge to get published given the intermittent internet connection back at the safehouse. But, promise some more cool experiences coming your way soon and this time it includes pictures!!!

A Most Interesting Day Part 1

I thought I'd share with you my most interesting day, a very unexpected day with no dangers but wonderful experiences. Unfortunately, I did not have my camera so was not able to capture anything on film.

So, there I was sitting in my office editing some recently translated and important documents when the Afghan Director of Criminal Investigations walked into my office with his executive officer asking me to join him for a meeting on training and walked out. I grabbed my portfolio and scarf and proceeded out to his office... he's not there. His chai (tea) boy pointed at the closed circuit TV to show me the Director was outside the building so I headed out believing the training brief was in an alternative office. Wrong again, into the Director's armored SUV I went not having any clue where. And, I left my temporary interpreter in the office working on some documents so I was on my own. The Director then told me in his broken but most legible English that we were going to the Afghan National Police Academy just outside Kabul. Whew!

After an interesting drive out to the Academy through previously unseen Kabul streets, we arrived to a good degree of pomp and proceeded to a training room with a large Afghan and coaltion contingent. From what I could understand, they were holding a seminar to discuss some specialized training and had invited my Director to open the meeting up. I wish they'd consulted with me before inviting him... the Director tends to pontificate for extended time if not given time limits and scope. So, after an hour he concluded his remarks and we abruptly left.

I'm now thinking we'll be heading back to the Ministry... wrong yet again! The Director instructed our driver to go right in lieu of left (Kabul) and I'm thinking this is not good. Okay, so what did I do to make him mad enough to take me out to the hinterlands to kill me (I'm kidding Ma)? As I'm going through options in my mind, he tells me we were going to Qarga, a beautiful part of Afghanistan. Well then, on to yet another new adventure. We traveled down a relatively well maintained two lane road which was bustling with all kinds of activities. First there were a couple of "major" universities with students milling around. Then came a long series of roadside stores (shacks) selling all sorts of wares... hanging animal carcases, fruits, veggies, clothing, shoes, chopped wood for fire/heat, drink stores (no alcohol), tires, car repair, hoses, restaurants, a plethora of stuff for miles. The people were obviously horribly poor. Then came what I can only describe as refugee camps, actually internally displaced (all Afghan). Acres and acres of small tents all connected together with small children playing/bathing in what appeared sewers. Oh, and herds of goats along the roadway... it appears this is their trash collection methodology.

So, we're driving along with the executive officer talking to the driver, the Director on his cell phone, and me oohing and aahing. The Director then pointed out with great pride Afghanistan's only golf course to the right, THE KABUL COUNTRY CLUB. For the life of me I could not see the course, and he kept pointing saying "there, there"... then I saw one of the "greens". A well manicured circle of dirt with a PVC pipe stuck in a hole with basically a rag tied to the top. Once I vectored in on the green I could see the rutted and grassless fairways and then other greens... there was not a blade of grass or level piece of ground to be seen. Oh ya, didn't see any golfers either. There was howevever a very nice Clubhouse which the director said had a "very good" restaurant.

Beyond the golf course appeared what I believed was a damn, and d... if I wasn't right. This is the area the Director brought me to see, Qarga. When we came to the peak of the damn I see a beautiful (remember, I'm in Afghanistan) panoramic view of about a one square mile resevoir. Along the sides of the water are boats and even swan paddle boats just like the ones found in the Boston Common. I asked the Director if people swim in the water and he adamantly states "Of course, this is modern Afghanistan the Taliban are gone!" So there you have it folks, the Afghans swim... I'll have to speak with Asa and ask how that's done between men and women.

We then drive to the end of the road to a private resort area, very nice for Afghanistan, and get out of the armored SUV to walk around and view the scenary. The Director had his Executive Officer take a picture which I hope to obtain from him one of these days soon. He then abruptly said, "we go now" and back into the vehicle we went. I now assume we're heading back to the Ministry... wrong again. But, will share that with you in the next blog. It's a fascinating story but you'll have to wait.

Busy, busy, busy these days so sorry the blogs are coming less frequently.

Pets in Afghanistan

Now I'm told the Afghans do not keep pets and they definitely do not bring animals into their homes. Yet I'm finding the "strays" here, both cats and dogs, far from what we would consider ferial. They are friendly and desire not only food but affection.

My colleague Rick (in the 2nd picture) carries packages of beef jerky for his walk to and from work every day so he can give treats to what appear to be stray "doggies"... it seems the highlight of his day. He also draws a group of Afghans every time who thoroughly enjoy the affection he gives this "pack" of dogs and they want to participate. Interestingly, the dogs are very fearful of the Afghans especially the kids. I'm told they are quite abusive to the animals, which I just don't comprehend.

Then there are the armies of stray cats which are all around. We are instructed not to feed them because if they're hungry they'll eat the rodents, snakes and many of the bugs... they are our exterminators. My buddy John, a resident of our safehouse, has his Tally. I always know when John gets home because Tally is yelling at him to feed him, begs like a dog. Beth and Kathy across the alleyway have Calli, an infinitely pregnant female cat whom they feed twice daily but according to them only because she's pregnant. She is no longer pregnant but now has the kittens so the feeding continues. When I go to the US Embassy they have bowls of food and water out for "their" cats with some even providing cat houses. Even the Nepalese (Gurka) guards have their pet stray cats... you should see these burly guys talking and playing with the many kittens that hang out at the security posts ...it's a riot. Needless to say, the "no feed order" is not adhered to. Americans, we never do as we're instructed; of course, I think that's what makes us so great.

Now I do see local venders selling bird cages with canaries, so assume these are house pets. I'll have to ask Asa about that, but she's taking a few vacation days to study for her university exams so I'll have to get back to you on this one.

Big Blog Hug goes out to the Fredericks Family... thank you for the beautiful hand drawn pictures for me and the bountiful school supplies for the local orphanage. The kids and teachers will be thrilled with this gift which I hope to get to them soon.

Too Close for Comfort

Okay, so if you go back to the last blog and read about my adventurous ride home the other day with the emergency response vehicles, this new one definitely put that into perspective. I could have used one of these "Rings of Steel" (look close at the lettering on the barrier)

So there I was (again) heading home after a relatively long day at the Ministry... just me and my good buddy Rob and of course our Afghan driver. We were happily chatting away about our day in the back of the van when we approached one of those dreaded traffic circles... I'm quickly learning to despise Afghan traffic circles. As we came closer, we noticed a civilian suddenly get out his vehicle for no apparent reason and just cold cock (punch) the uniformed policeman manning a security gate. Sadly, my first reaction was joy that it wasn't one of those poor traffic cops. Well, this civilian was obviously most angry and continued to punch the policeman with great violence. To his credit, the Cop recovered quickly and proceeded to fight back just as violently while attempting to grab for the automatic weapon (machine gun) on his shoulder. Now more civilians have gotten into the mix with lots of cops running in the direction... we're only about 25 feet away from this altercation. So, the original cop is now furiously grabbing for his weapon as the crowd size increases, some participating. All I can think is that I do not want to be collateral damage (hit by stray bullet). But I rapidly realize I have nowhere to take cover except behind Rob who has now turned his back to the fight in an attempt to enter into a state of denial... retired Naval helicopter pilot, so what can we expect?

My new prowess in squealling came into play once again when I "instructed" the driver to "get us the hell out of here"! After taking cover behind Rob (a large man), I noted the driver was watching this growing altercation with great entertainment... not my idea of fun. Needless to say, the squeal got his attention and he quickly maneuvered an escape route out of the danger zone. I have no idea what started or ended the fight, and honestly don't care. Too much anger on both sides and waaay too many apparent guns on the side of the very young policemen on scene; odds are that many of the civilians were packing too.

After we were walking into our safe area, Rob did note that I used his body as "cover" and found that most entertaining. He told me he was just glad I didn't pull him to the floor on top of me for better protection. Of course I'm thinking... "Darn, I should have thought of that!"

REQUEST FROM READERS: I was talking to one of our medics the other day and he advised I take Pepto Bismal in capsule form before eating Afghan food. I'm finding myself eating more food out of necessity because of my long hours at the Ministry. Don't worry, Asa only gets me food from "legitimate" restaurants but the threat of typhoid is still high. Unfortunately, I cannot find any Pepto Bismal capsules here or anywhere else, only the liquid form. So, please let me know if one of you out there can send some to me and I'll let the rest know so I'm not drowning in Pepto.

SAD NEWS: I no longer have access to my clean bathroom, the guy who owns it had locked it because too many people were coming to use this clean bathroom. A most sad occurence in my life here in Afghanistan. Truly, the fight was nothing compared to this. I'd send pictures but it's just too gross to put out in public.

Big blog hug goes out to my beautiful niece Rachel for her feedback on the car thieves/hijackers... definitely go with the $100 in $1 bills and yell FIRE ( in Dari of course). Great idea... although 100 $1 bills is pretty bulky in my pocket.

EMERGENCY RESPONSE

The term Emergency Response must be put into perspective here in Kabul. Here's my story and I have any number of witnesses who can confirm the facts.

So there we were leaving the Ministry to head back to our international compound during peak traffic hours, with traffic at a turtle's pace. Suddenly our driver takes an alternative turn telling us he knew a better route... big mistake for all of us and unfortunately I was sitting shotgun. Needless to say, traffic flow on this route was even worse... I guess everybody had the same idea. Suddenly one of those poor traffic cops I always feel bad for, is just swinging his little wand furiously and blowing his whistle till I thought he'd implode. Then we heard the alarms behind us with no maneuver room for anyone than the traffic cop who's running around trying to get people to do the impossible. Ultimately, the fire truck did inch forward and our driver somehow maneuvered to get right behind it... I'm confident now the guy learned to drive in Boston.

My heart rate is now far exceeding its maximum cardio levels, I've said a number of Our Fathers and many more Hail Marys. Then, we (fire truck and our vehicle) get to the dreaded TRAFFIC CIRLCE with bikes, motorcycles, donkey carts, pedestrians, etc. all mixed into the fold. I saw a car hit a bicyclist who proceeded to get up (thankfully) and then attempt to pull the driver out of the vehicle. The Traffic Cop must now deal with the fire truck and a very aggravated cyclist... wand flying even faster, whistle louder. I continue my prayers. Fire truck is not moving so uses every siren in his portfolio at maximum volume... I wanted to choke the guy. Wait, it gets better and this is no lie. An ambulance is now attempting to enter into the traffic circle at the opposite end. I'm now thinking I'm going to have a heart attack and just want to climb into the back of the vehicle so I see less. Realizing this just ain't going to happen, I pesevere and focus on the traffic cop who I really think is going to have a heart attack. I've got to start carrying my rosary beads on these trips.

In the end, we all finally made it through the traffic circle... us, ambulance, fire truck. Not sure if the ambulance slowed to picked up the driver who hit the bicyclist. It took till I arrived my office to get my heart rate down. I was in desperate need of a drink... but that's not going to happen either.

Just another commuter day... not.

My Other Office EDITED

I promised and here it is. These are pictures of my office at the Ministry. Asa's so thrilled to be out of that cramped office with all those guys (see earlier blog). And, getting to the ministry is much quicker and easier on her. She's taken possession of this office, making sure the cleaning guys clean it often (that would be the nice man in the picture, then I give tip), she's rearranged the furniture, had me buy a room freshner, and just made it an all around nicer place to be. Of course this must all be put into perspective as we're in a underdeveloped country.

You'll also note the picture of my wonderful grand nieces and nephews on the wall. The Afghans are fascinated with the concept of putting pictures of your family in the office... it's not done here. I'm guessing government officials have gotten into the habit of keeping the names/faces of their families a secret for security reasons. Sorry kids. When looking at this picture, they're convinced the kids are Afghan (except for blonde Maddy). Anyway, we also keep a bowl of candy in the office (tootsie rolls/pops) which is a big draw. Finally, I leave the office door open (something they also find peculiar) to serve as an invitation to walk in. My intent is to pull (not literally) people into my office to talk, a great means of collecting insider information. To date, I've learned it's all about the chocolate but I'll give it a while longer till I'm convinced they're just coming to see Miss Gail because she is so very nice :-}

Work has become most demanding of late. It's the annual time of year when we work with our Afghan colleagues to submit changes in organizational structures/operations which drive personnel, equipment, facilities and budget increases. The challenge is the process developed by the Americans, a process which must be followed in order to justify additional resources, but its just not a good fit with Afghan logic. I'm finding their logic so very different than ours, while also most insightful. Here's how it's working so far: the Afghans think because they really want the extra resources to fight crime, they should have everything they ask for. Of course the bills are paid by the international (primarily US) community, who must justify this increase in their budgets with definitive justification. I'm trying hard to get them to comply, but it's a challenge. The European Police (EUPOL) guys are coming into the ministry today to help me drive Afghan compliance to the required process, but I'm not holding out any great hope. If we fail, the Afghans will brief their program and it will not be supported by the international community... after yesterday's long discussion, they seem amenable to that outcome (no support). I'm using every skill I have in my little imaginary bag to juxtapose Afghan perceived requirements with fiscal responsibility. I'll let you know how it does.

OKAY, DID A FEW MOST NEEDED GRAMMATICAL/CONTENT EDITS. BUT I FORGOT TO SHARE WITH YOU THE MOST IMPORTANT FACT ABOUT THE MINISTRY OFFICE... dramatical pause .... I FOUND AN ALMOST CLEAN, OKAY TOLERABLE, BATHROOM!!!! Now that I'm spending most of my day over there, this is a godsend and I'm sure will contribute significantly to my long term health.

Out Cruising

Sorry about the blog void but I do have a small excuse... the internet was down for a couple of days, really. And today, I'm running late for an early morning so this one will be short

I was out "cruising" on my day off and got my friend Al to take this picture of me behind a rose bush. Keilah, please note that I'm wearing the earrings you made and sent me. Behind me is General Petreaus', Commander of all US and International Forces in Afghanistan, HQs building. The grounds around this building are just beautiful with a "Rose Garden" in front where people can sit and talk over coffee, BBQ grills for functions, and just an all around nice setting. Unfortunately I doubt he ever gets the time to even enjoy these settings... he's an awful busy guy.

My work is also becoming more intriguing and is bringing a greater sense of meaning for me. Busy is good, it makes the time go faster but cutting into my evening workout program... priorities. Details will have to wait for another blog as I have to head out now.

Hugs for all readers.