Afghan Wedding

Hello All,

Asa, you remember my interpreter, told me her sister was getting married soon and she'd need some days off. Needless to say, I understand sisters' weddings so of course I submitted the paperwork. I asked her to tell me about a traditional Afghan wedding as I'd seen a few very modern looking buildings driving in Kabul which I was told were wedding halls. Well, here's an abbreviated version of what she explained to me.

Afghan weddings are 3 day events:

Day 1: The couple about to be married go shopping, with the groom buying the bride new clothing and jewelry. For the average Afghan this can equate up to $10,000. Needless to say, a man who wants to marry here must save for a very long time so he is normally much older than a woman. Editorial Note: culture/religion dictate that men and women not within an immediate family are not allowed to touch in any manner to include shaking hands. So needless to say, the guys here are quite motivated to save money

Day 2: The wedding ceremony. Just like us, everyone gets all dressed up to attend a wedding normally buying new and fancy clothes just for this event. Asa is scrounging now for the money as she just started in her position and has yet to get a paycheck. Average cost of a traditional handmade dress is about $40. Back to the wedding. There is first a religious ceremony (men and women are in separate rooms of course) to bring the couple together under the eyes of God. And then the big party begins. If the families can afford it, the wedding occurs at a big fancy wedding hall with lots of food, dancing and frivolity. Oh ya, the men and women are in separate halls during all the festivities. But, the new groom is allowed in the women's hall to dance and celebrate with the women... quite an event according to Asa.

Day 3: The new bride and groom go to their respective parents' home (or wedding hall if money is available) where each set of parents throws yet another party. The groom shows off his new bride along with the new clothing and jewels he has bought for her. These parties are almost as festive as the Day 2 party. This is like the couple's coming out party.

Note: Women here are only allowed one husband. However, men are allowed up to four wives. Needless to say, only the wealthiest of men have more than one wife. Asa's father has only one wife. But, here's the rule for men with more than one wife. Each wife must be treated equally on every level... material goods, emotions, and any other things. What a balancing act that must be for all.

This Blog, a big hug for Ma xxxooo

Love to All