Baad Tradition

I am now involved in helping develop Family Response Units (FRUs), specially trained police units formed to deal with domestic violence (spousal and child abuse). To say building and implementing a Domestic Violence program in Afghanistan is posing a challenge is a gross understatement. However, the international community through various Gender Affairs agencies as well as various Afghan groups are putting forth a valiant effort and I'm quite honored to be involved. However, it's not a challenge I look forward to working. FYI: I wrote my master's degree thesis on police response to domestic violence, so have some background/knowledge on the issue.

While reading a program document on the FRUs, I found a listing of what legally constituted spousal and child abuse and came upon the term Baad. I asked Asa what Baad was. Never would have imagined this one, it is not good. Baad is a payment of one family to another when a member of one family commits a grave offense against a member the other. To prevent retribution (killings), the families will negotiate a BAAD... when the offending family gives away a daughter in payment to protect other members of the family.

Asa told me Baad has been a common practice to resolve family disputes in Afghanistan for many years. Remember, a lot of these families have close to nothing and a daughter can be considered an expendable commodity. She has heard of girls as young as 6 years old being given to older men in a Baad who in turn marry these young girls. The Afghans do not believe in premarital sex and therefore must marry and remember (from a previous blog) that men are allowed up to four wives. Needless to say because this girl comes from a family who committed a grave offense to given family, she is not treated well.

I then asked Asa if the family of the girl had an alternative, she stated "of course" there are laws in Afghanistan now and the family could resolve the conflict through the police and court systems. She also said Baad is now rarely found in Kabul (the capital) but still common out in the provinces (countryside). I asked what her father would do if he found himself in a situation that traditionally called for a Baad, this got her goat but I didn't do it on purpose. She said her father would sacrifice his own life before giving up one of his five daughters in a Baad. That made me feel better.

As I said earlier, I'm not looking forward to working in the domestic violence realm over here but know it's important so I will. Fortunately, I'll be working with a wonderful community dedicated to improving the quality of life of the most distressed.

Okay, I think I belabored the point long enough... sorry, this one got to me.

A big blog hug goes out to all my

beautiful sisters, nieces and women
friends/family

we are truly blessed.